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Blonde again


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A Blonde's Year in Review.


January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.


February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....

Helllloooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in printer !!!


March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....

Box said "2-4 years!"


April - Trapped on escalator for hours ... Power went out!!!


May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't

fit into those little packets!!!


June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.


July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other

swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!


August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....

Car swamped because soft-top was open.


September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???


October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.


November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days . Instructions said 1 hour per pound

and I weigh 108!!


December - Couldn't call 911 .... "duh".....there's no "eleven"

Button on the stupid phone!!!








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A policeman was interrogating three blondes who were training . . .

. . . to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he showed the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hid it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"


The blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"


The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."


Flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for five seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"


The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"


The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!!


Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds, "...think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm...the suspect wears contact lenses."


The policeman is surprised because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it... it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"






"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."



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BGD - 2008-03-26 3:49 PM


Hya Syd -


Thought you were Missing In Action mate........we didnt hear from you for a meet-up whilst you were on leave from the MMM Towers Home for the Dazed and Confused???




No, sorry, but I failed.

I had intended to just turn up at one of your gigs but was waylaid by Sticky Vicky. There are two of them now, the old lady (70ish) and a younger woman (40/45ish). Not my cup of tea at all but someone told Lee about her and he almost insisted on us taking him to see her.

He had to have surgery after her act just to get his eyes put back into their sockets. He loved it but didn't know where she was pulling everything from.


Got to be just too busy, ended up purchasing a static caravan on the outskirts of Benidorm. It is a long story so dont ask.


We are out there again shortly and hope to meet up then, trying to arrange it for when Tony gets there as it would be nice to meet the preacher and the devil all at the same time eh



Just remembered, we have not had a reply from the CPS yet so will drop them a reminder this weekend

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