The tale of Old Gary.

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Old Gary is 95 years old and lives in a retirement home.

 

Every night after dinner Gary wanders into a peaceful and secluded part of the garden at the back of the home to sit and ponder his life and the meaning of life in general.

 

One evening Mildred, a young 87 year old resident wanders into his secret hide away, sits down beside him, and they begin to chat - like you do!

 

After chatting for ages about their lives and the things they like, Gary turns to Mildred and says, 'do you know what I really miss most of all?'

 

'No', says Mildred, 'what do you miss most of all?'

 

'SEX!' replies Gary.

 

At which Mildred exclaims, 'why you couldn't get it up even if I held a gun to your head!'

 

'I realise that', said Gary, 'but it would be nice for a woman to just hold it for a while for old times sake.'

 

'Well I can do that for you', says Mildred, unzipping his trousers, removing his manhood and holding it in her warm hands.

 

Afterwards they agree to meet secretly each evening in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would gently hold Gary's manhood for him.

 

Then one night Gary didn't show up at the appointed hour.

 

Alarmed by this, Mildred went off in search of him.

 

She walked round the other side of the garden where she found him chatting to another resident, the 88 year old Ethel.

 

Furious, Mildred yelled, 'you two timing creep - what does Ethel have that I don't?'

 

Old Gary just smiled contentedly and replied, 'Parkinson's................!'