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...so very true!


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1) Moles are always smaller than you imagine.


2) At the end of every party there is always a fat girl crying.


3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle get synchronised with that of a complete stranger.


4) You've never quite sure whether its OK to eat green crisps.


5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.


6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.


7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.


8) You're never quite sure whether its against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.


9) Whatever your age the desire to make plastic toy figurines assume intercourse positions is almost impossible to resist.


10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.


11) You never know where to look when eating an apple.


12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.


13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.


14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a flat ball.


15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.


16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.


17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to accidentally call your teacher mum or dad.


18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.


19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.


20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.


21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.


22) Its impossible to look cool while picking up a frisbee.


23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.


24) You never ever run out of salt.


25) Elderly ladies can eat more than you think.


26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.


27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you you've got your hand or head stuck in something.


28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.


29) Despite constant warning you have never met anybody who has had their arm (or neck) broken by a swan.


30) The most painful common household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.


31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.


32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood to specifically stir paint with.


33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.


34) Bricks are horrible to carry.


35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.


36) Triangle sandwiches taste better than square ones.


37) Beneath every floating balloon is a tearful child.


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Getting back to sanity does make the dubious assumption that you were ever sane in the first place John!


There is very little pleasure in being sane in today's UK - ask any politician!

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