Dads Army Brexit

[Barryd999]

(lol)

 

You really couldn't make this one up! With chaos looming at our borders and the possibility of vehicles being stacked up as far as the M25 if we leave the customs unions and single market the governments latest idea is to ask for volunteers to protect our borders! :D Guffaw! If anyone was in doubt that we are hurtling the ship headlong into disaster this latest "Brexit Plan" surely leaves us in no doubt that there is nobody at the helm whatsoever with a brain cell.

 

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/dec/31/ministers-consider-using-volunteers-to-guard-uk-borders

 

Civil servants are telling the Government that Brexit is impossible and are also leaving in their droves so the plan is to create a kind of Dads Army of untrained volunteers to make it a success. :D

 

It would be funny if it wasnt so serious. I have decided to do my bit though and volunteer as a border guard. When the French kick our borders back to Dover and we are flooded with migrants I shall just stick them in a taxi (to be paid on delivery) and have them all sent to Nigel Farages house (Assuming he has not left the country to reside in Germany of course which he said he might do if he didnt get the Brexit he ordered).

[John52]

Brexit is like Privatising the Railways.

The decision was taken out of political dogma, then foisted on to Civil Servants to make it work.

 

[John52]

Barryd999 - 2017-12-31 3:51 PM

 

Civil servants are telling the Government that Brexit is impossible and are also leaving in their droves

 

The good ones who could get a job anywhere are leaving in their droves.

Wheras the useless t*ssers like Boris Johnson who would be unemployable anywhere else will stick like sh*t to a blanket, and keep promising the impossible to further their own careers. *-)

[Tracker]

What better way to end the year than with a touch of goog old Irish philosophy.

 

 

 

I was questioning children in my Dublin Sunday school class,

 

to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

 

I asked them, If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale,

 

and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?’

 

‘NO!’ the children answered.

 

‘If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything

 

tidy, would that get me into heaven?’

 

Again, the answer was ‘NO!’

 

‘If I gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?’

 

Again, they all answered ‘NO!’

 

I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, ‘Then how can I get into heaven?’

 

A little boy shouted out:

 

‘YUV GOTTA BE FLIPPIN’ DEAD.’

 

It’s a curious race, the Irish.

 

Brings a tear to the eye, doesn’t it?

 

(He didn't actually say 'flippin' but I've cleaned it up to help the sensitive among us!)

 

 

[Brian Kirby]

This is a delicate topic, but you appear to have hi-jacked a perfectly good Brexit string by introducing a non-Brexit topic. I wouldn't have mentioned it, but as the same sauce should apparently be served with the both the goose and the gander, I thought what the hell! :-D

[Tracker]

Brian Kirby - 2017-12-31 4:50 PM

 

This is a delicate topic, but you appear to have hi-jacked a perfectly good Brexit string by introducing a non-Brexit topic. I wouldn't have mentioned it, but as the same sauce should apparently be served with the both the goose and the gander, I thought what the hell! :-D

 

Thanks Brian!

 

Tit for tat I thought as I smiled to myself, perhaps the best antidote to all the self proclaimed experts who in reality know nothing is a bit of humour, so I make no apology and can only encourage anyone else as brassed off with the prophets of doom and gloom and anti UK feelings as I am to post similarly disruptive offerings.

 

Best wishes to you and yours for a peaceful and healthy 2018.

[Barryd999]

Brian Kirby - 2017-12-31 4:50 PM

 

This is a delicate topic, but you appear to have hi-jacked a perfectly good Brexit string by introducing a non-Brexit topic. I wouldn't have mentioned it, but as the same sauce should apparently be served with the both the goose and the gander, I thought what the hell! :-D

 

Topic drift or hijack even if its deliberate is fine if its funny. It wasnt funny. Gerroff Tracker!

[Tracker]

Barryd999 - 2017-12-31 5:03 PM

Topic drift or hijack even if its deliberate is fine if its funny. It wasnt funny. Gerroff Tracker!

 

Philosophy isn't funny Capt Mainwaring, but it is a mild antidote to all the Brexit crud from politically biased smart alecs that we have to endure on here.

 

Now if you can resist turning other non Brexit threads into party political broadcasts maybe , just maybe things will improve.

 

By the way I do have a stockpile of jokes to use!

[Barryd999]

Tracker - 2017-12-31 5:08 PM

 

Barryd999 - 2017-12-31 5:03 PM

Topic drift or hijack even if its deliberate is fine if its funny. It wasnt funny. Gerroff Tracker!

 

Philosophy isn't funny Capt Mainwaring, but it is a mild antidote to all the Brexit crud from politically biased smart alecs that we have to endure on here.

 

Now if you can resist turning other non Brexit threads into party political broadcasts maybe , just maybe things will improve.

 

By the way I do have a stockpile of jokes to use!

 

The problem with Brexit Rich is that it often affects just about everything we discuss so it does come up from time to time in any thread. Dont blame me, blame the Tories and UKIP for putting us in this situation. Perhaps when your stuck on the Dartford Crossing trying to get to Dover in your motorhome whilst the Dads army of Volunteers try to deal with sixty miles of backed up traffic you will wish we discussed it long before there was any talk of a referendum and the public "took back control".

[Tracker]

Thanks Barry, that was such a load of self justifying politically biased bull that it deserves another diversion.

 

 

 

 

This was written by a black gentleman in Texas.

 

 

 

When U is Black, U is Black

 

 

When I was born, I was BLACK,

When I grew up, I was BLACK,

When I went in the sun, I stayed BLACK,

When I got cold, I was BLACK,

When I was scared, I was BLACK,

When I was sick, I was BLACK,

And when I die, I'll still be BLACK.

 

NOW, You 'white' folks......

When you're born, you're PINK,

When you grow-up, you're WHITE,

When you go in the sun, you get RED,

When you're cold, you turn BLUE,

When you're scared, you're YELLOW,

When you get sick, you're GREEN

When you bruise, you turn PURPLE,

And when you die, you look GREY.

 

So why y'all be callin' us

COLO

 

U

 

RED ?

 

 

[Barryd999]

Cor Rich! Your so funny. I wish I was cool like you. *-)

[John52]

Looks like even you can't defend Brexit Tracker.

But rather than admit it you want to change the subject - to something funny.

But you can't even do that so you copy and paste plagiarise other people's jokes to show us how amusing you are . *-)

[Barryd999]

What I cannot get my head round is that there just appears to be no contingency plan or concern for what a hard brexit would mean for our ports, goods inward and out, security and of course most importantly motorhome travel!

 

It is of course looking like a hard Brexit is not popular and may well be avoided or indeed any Brexit at all but none of it is over until the Fat Lady sings so its anyone's guess but there is a genuine possibility that out trade and travel routes will just fall over completely and this is the best they can come up with, volunteers!

 

You can worry about immigration, inflation, the economy etc but flow of goods and people is vital in and out of Europe. There is no getting round it and certainly a few Dads Army border guards aint gonna cut the mustard.

 

We could be marooned here cos you probably wont be able to fly into Europe either!

 

 

[teflon2]

Barry you keep repeating the same rubbish about long holdups for goods vehicles you obviously have never heard of TIR it was in existence before the EU and is still in existence it's used by over 70 countries including the EU and most of it's contingent of countries. In short the rapid transfer of goods between counties without the need for border checks, from the customs check at dispatch to the customs of the receiving country It's worked since 1975 and britexit will not affect it. Happy new year to you all . John ;-)

[Bulletguy]

 

I'm not surprised to be reading this latest farcical suggestion as it's got the Brexit desperation stamp all over it. Cut after cut after cut, slashing essential services down to the bone means they have no more 'meat' left to take off so begun chipping away at the bare bones.

 

Well there is a ready supply of volunteers who would give their eye teeth to man the borders........but it would upset an awful lot of Brexiters! ;-)

 

They are willing hard workers with first hand knowledge of the logistics involved in illegal entry.........and sitting waiting to be 'called up' just 25 miles over the other side of the Channel! (lol)

[Tracker]

John52 - 2017-12-31 6:10 PM

 

Looks like even you can't defend Brexit Tracker.

But rather than admit it you want to change the subject - to something funny.

But you can't even do that so you copy and paste plagiarise other people's jokes to show us how amusing you are . *-)

 

Can I just say how delighted I am that you, and others, are so self righteously annoyed and I note that never do any of you seem to propose a workable solution to all the criticism and negativity and perceived problems that you all would like us to believe would not exist but for Brexit and for all the doom and gloom you pinch from various politically bigoted sources to shower upon us.

 

Having hissed you off and given you a tatse of the abject monotony that you try to force feed the rest of us on all year I can happilly say - job done - for 2017.

 

Happy New Year!

[colin]

Caught a comment on Brexit t'other night on (I think) BBC news channel, the woman who is a remainer and I think writes for Guardian was commenting on how Brexit will carry on next year, her view was "We all know how it will go, the same as it has so far, lots of posturing and seaming chaos, and then at the last minute it will all fall into place, This is because both side know it has to work".

I'm pinning my hopes on her being right.

[nowtelse2do]

Seeing that most Truck's coming to and from Europe are European truck's, I reckon the queues will be on the other side of the channel.

 

I'd forgot about the TIR John, well remembered ;-)

 

Dave

[RogerC]

.....anyone know where the forum toilet is......the OP and his mates must keep their 'cr4p' somewhere close because it's always stinking up the place......

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_DvlWo60SGRg/SZjwhctnqgI/AAAAAAAABnk/ylF32KV5gPs/s400/Antilisbon-1.jpg

[Bulletguy]

Tracker - 2017-12-31 8:17 PM

 

John52 - 2017-12-31 6:10 PM

 

Looks like even you can't defend Brexit Tracker.

But rather than admit it you want to change the subject - to something funny.

But you can't even do that so you copy and paste plagiarise other people's jokes to show us how amusing you are . *-)

 

Can I just say how delighted I am that you, and others, are so self righteously annoyed and I note that never do any of you seem to propose a workable solution to all the criticism and negativity and perceived problems that you all would like us to believe would not exist but for Brexit and for all the doom and gloom you pinch from various politically bigoted sources to shower upon us.

 

Having hissed you off and given you a tatse of the abject monotony that you try to force feed the rest of us on all year I can happilly say - job done - for 2017.

 

Happy New Year!

A workable solution was proposed long ago..........Remain with the EU. But you saw a big red bus with a silly logo and believed (of course all now say they never did now they're being expected to stump up the £350m a week!), imagined you could stop immigration and freedom of movement, but got neither.

 

What's your "solution" to stopping the train wreck fiasco your Brexit has turned into? So far you've got your precious "old style" blue/black passport back......which UK could have done without leaving EU as they were not responsible for changing the colour and neither was there a EU requirement to change to burgundy.

 

Not very much to show have you?

[John52]

Tracker - 2017-12-31 8:17 PM

 

John52 - 2017-12-31 6:10 PM

 

Looks like even you can't defend Brexit Tracker.

But rather than admit it you want to change the subject - to something funny.

But you can't even do that so you copy and paste plagiarise other people's jokes to show us how amusing you are . *-)

 

Can I just say how delighted I am that you, and others, are so self righteously annoyed and I note that never do any of you seem to propose a workable solution to all the criticism and negativity and perceived problems that you all would like us to believe would not exist but for Brexit and for all the doom and gloom you pinch from various politically bigoted sources to shower upon us.

 

Having hissed you off and given you a tatse of the abject monotony that you try to force feed the rest of us on all year I can happilly say - job done - for 2017.

 

Happy New Year!

 

 

Can I just say how delighted I am to see you posting something you have written yourself, instead of trying to be funny by posting stuff you have stolen from elsewhere, putting the forum owners at risk of copyright infringement.

Its comforting to read such rubbish because it confirms you have written it yourself (lol)

[Barryd999]

teflon2 - 2017-12-31 7:08 PM

 

Barry you keep repeating the same rubbish about long holdups for goods vehicles you obviously have never heard of TIR it was in existence before the EU and is still in existence it's used by over 70 countries including the EU and most of it's contingent of countries. In short the rapid transfer of goods between counties without the need for border checks, from the customs check at dispatch to the customs of the receiving country It's worked since 1975 and britexit will not affect it. Happy new year to you all . John ;-)

 

I have heard of it but I was under the impression that it still required the physical integrity of the customs seals and bills of lading to be checked and the issue is the amount of "Just in time" traffic is huge compared to what it was in 1975. If it were as simple as you make out there would be no issue with the Northern Ireland border for a start, why would they be looking at a Dads Army border agency and if you have watched any of the programs on recently about our ports just about every official is worried sick about it.

 

Still, you could be completely right and the Government themselves have never heard of it. They really are that stupid.

[derek pringle]

John52 - 2017-12-31 6:10 PM

 

Looks like even you can't defend Brexit Tracker.

But rather than admit it you want to change the subject - to something funny.

But you can't even do that so you copy and paste plagiarise other people's jokes to show us how amusing you are . *-)

hi,

Must say I look forward to reading Trackers posts far more than most. There seems to be strong politics brought in to every subject here now, does get tiresome reading the same people hurling the same insults after a couple of postings. This part of the forum used to guarantee everyone a good laugh as well as strong disagreement,just seems to have got less tongue in cheek and more directly nasty.

derek

[malc d]

Barryd999 - 2017-12-31 3:51 PM

 

(lol)

 

You really couldn't make this one up!

 

With chaos looming at our borders and the possibility of vehicles being stacked up as far as the M25 if we leave the customs unions and single market the governments latest idea is to ask for volunteers to protect our borders!

 

QUOTE]

 

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

malc d

 

Anyone who believes that " chaos is looming at our borders " should be pleased to hear that Civil Servants are thinking ' out of the box ' about ways to prevent it happening.

 

Although I suspect that some of our remainiacs would love to see chaos just so they can say they were right.

 

I understand that the idea is to have volunteer, part time, border guards ( i.e. customs officials ) at little used ports and airfields - some of which have very little cover - if any - at the moment.

 

( Sounds to me that we should have been doing that already ) .

 

Nothing wrong with volunteers around the coast. The RNLI volunteers do a magnificent job .

 

 

;-)

[Tracker]

Bulletguy - 2017-12-31 9:37 PM

 

A workable solution was proposed long ago..........Remain with the EU. But you saw a big red bus with a silly logo and believed (of course all now say they never did now they're being expected to stump up the £350m a week!), imagined you could stop immigration and freedom of movement, but got neither.

 

What's your "solution" to stopping the train wreck fiasco your Brexit has turned into? So far you've got your precious "old style" blue/black passport back......which UK could have done without leaving EU as they were not responsible for changing the colour and neither was there a EU requirement to change to burgundy.

 

What a truly unpleasant person you are, and when using original party political untruths fails to convince anyone you resort to downright unimaginative fabrication, just as long as it fits your twisted wish list.

 

I think an apology from you would not be unreasonable to ask for but not expect to get.

 

Just to clarify, again, NEVER have I ever said that I was convinced by the untruths on the big red bus, never have I said that I expect immigration to be under control, never have I said I want a blue passport - I don't care what colour it is, but you do it seems, in fact I have never even mentioned passport.

 

However unlike you whingeing doom and gloom Remoaners, I am not going to become involved in trying to impose my biased closed mind thoughts on others, but I do respect the choice made by a democratic referendum.

 

I have faith that the UK will prosper better in the longer term outside of the politically motivated EU but it may well be a rough ride for a few years as we adapt and if we could operate within an updated Common Market that would make sense, and that I have said before..