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How do you shower?


omidknight

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Posted

If this has been posted before - sorry

 

How To Shower Like a Woman

 

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry

basket according to lights and darks.

 

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

 

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed

areas.

 

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make

mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

 

Get in the shower.

 

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,

wide loofah and pumice stone.

 

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo

with 43 added vitamins.

 

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

 

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner

enhanced.

 

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for

10 minutes until red.

 

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa

cake body wash.

 

Rinse conditioner off hair.

 

Shave armpits and legs.

 

Turn off shower.

 

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

 

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

 

Get out of shower.

 

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

 

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

 

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel

on head.

 

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed

areas.

 

 

How To Shower Like a Man

 

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed

and leave them in a pile.

 

Walk naked to the bathroom.

 

If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her

making the 'woo-woo' sound.

 

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

 

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

 

Get in the shower.

 

Wash your face.

 

Wash your armpits.

 

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse

them off.

 

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

 

Spend majority of time washing privates and

surrounding area.

 

Wash your bum, leaving those coa**e bum hairs stuck on

the soap.

 

Wash your hair.

 

Make a Shampoo Mohawk..

 

Wee.

 

Rinse off and get out of shower.

 

Partially dry off.

 

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was

hanging out of baththe whole time..

 

Admire willy size in mirror again.

 

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and

fan on..

 

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

 

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her

and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

 

Throw wet towel on bed.

 

 

Thank you for this "pulliptears" post on MSE

 

 

 

 

How many ladies are now frantically nodding in agreement!?

Posted
You're gonna regret saying that ... everyone who sees you serving at one of the outdoor shows now is going to come over to you and do the 'sign' greeting ... hopefully just 'imaginary' though and not 'in the flesh'!!! :$

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