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Far be it from me to call Bruce's taste into question Tony!


Sorry - should read -


Far be it from me to call Bruce's impeccable taste into question Tony!

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Gentlemen, please!


There have undoubtedly of late been some scurilous, fifth-columist, attempts to tarnish the purity of the nectar. >:-(


Some misguided souls have been known to add it to coffee, or Tia Maria, or waste it in cakes or puddings.


These are foolish, heathen peasants.


They are to be pitied.


Bailey's is clearly a gift from the Gods, and such idolators face a Lord Bruce fatwah for impuning it in such a foul and despicable way.

When I sieze power, they shall all be shut away in sheep sheds, far away in the wilds of North Wales, for "Social Re-Education".


The only, the ONLY, addition to the Bailey's range which has (in my humble opinion, and thus is an indisputable fact) been beneficial to the human speacies is the Mint Choc variety........which is just utterly yummy.


As with the original Bailey's, there is of course just one correct way to imbibe:

Bottle: pre-chilled, in fridge.

Glass: large tumbler.

Ice: one large lump.

Measure: one-third of a pint.

Result: nirvahna (or about as near as one can get before shuffling off this mortal coil).


Every night I say a little prayer to those poor souls who have yet to see the light; I implore the Great One (R.A. Bailey) to cast his divine countenance upon these uncultured plebs, and allow a little of his food of the Gods to aid their journey towards civilised existence. ;-)


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For those that missed it first time round-


A woman and her boyfriend are in a bar having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together she starts talking about this really great new drink.


The more she talks about it the more excited she gets and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.


After a while he gives in and let's her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following on the bar: A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, a shot of lime juice.


The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains. First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth and finally you drink the lime juice.


So the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her goes for it. He puts the salt on his tongue - salty but ok.


He drinks the shot of Baileys - smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks - this is ok.


Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it.... At one second the sharp lime taste hits, at two seconds the Baileys curdles,at three seconds the salty curdled bitter taste hits.


This triggers his gag reflex but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now nasty drink.


When he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend. She smiles widely at him and says "So, how did you like it ? It's called "Blow Job's Revenge."

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Really Janine - I am surprised at you - and I thought you were such a good girl - you naughty wee floozie (with a capital FL) - you are far too young to know about such things.
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