michele Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 If I grew old and never own a house I would be put in care . Who would pay for this ? If i grew old and owned a house what would be expected to pay for my care then? Wouldd it be my house What happens when the money runs out ? and who pays for my care then ? Question one ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 Question two ...... My mother in law and father in law will leave money in their will to My husband my son and my daughter Not me .thats the way its done . Now we will adopt Rose & fred any day now and she does not wish to leave to R & F now if R & F were of sound mind could they contest what Granma and grandad had left to son & daughter ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 michele - 2009-12-08 5:35 PM If I grew old and never own a house I would be put in care . Who would pay for this ? If i grew old and owned a house what would be expected to pay for my care then? Wouldd it be my house What happens when the money runs out ? and who pays for my care then ? Question one ............. This is my plan Michele... Sell my house and move into rented accommodation. Spend all of my money over the next 20 years. When my money runs out, the council will pay my rent. When I go into a nursing home, the state will pay the fees. Job done (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Don,t see a problem with your mother and father in law not wishing to leave anything to Rose or Fred Michele. Apart from small bequests, it will be your husband who receives what is instructed in the will, and he in turn, with yourself, will make your own provisions for the children. Adopted children now have the same rights as any other, and as for 'sound' of mind, then again, its up to you to make sure they are both taken care of financially with regard to their future. As for 'who pays for the care home'. This should come free to those who qualify as either being mentally or physically incapable of taking care of themselves and should,nt be a problem as you're halfway there already. he he. he he he he Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted December 8, 2009 Author Share Posted December 8, 2009 ha ha Howie. I was thinking along the lines of Janine.. We worked hard got nothing for free I would give it all to the kids and then get put into a carehome after all have we not paid enough into societys pot ? The mother in law can leave her money where she sees fit no one can force her nor would I want to make her give something to R & f thats hers to do with as she pleases . I was just wondering about the care home we would leave our money to all the children but what would be the point with R & f ? rememebr its just a question surely they couldnt spend it and the care home would take it . Now the way I am thinking is we have in effect already saved the govnerment tax payer a fortune by adoption alone so by the time they are old enough to need a care home should we let society pay for it ? Its a hard one isnt it the way I sees it is we have never been given nothing in this world now when i die i will leaqv eit all to them and some system will come and take it for their care ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggyd Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 The trouble is Michelle :-S not many Care Homes are now owned by the government, they are mostly privately owned and they can charge more or less what they like! its usually circa £1.000 per month! if we all ended up in care homes the tax payer would be taxed to the hilt to provide for us I know what you are saying its a shame when we have struggled to pay morgages! but I dont expect other people to look after me or us just so our kids can inherit a couple of hundred thou for the sale of our house! it was with this in mind we moved out of our house and moved into a bungalow, so that we can at least as long as we can walk about and not have to climb stairs! we can look after ourselves in our own home, with a little help from our kids! that way, they will have their inheritance. Nothing comes from nothing! as they say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 If a house is owned by TWO people and the state wanted it to pay for the care bill who would like to purchase HALF of a house with maybe a sitting tennant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 This is one of the reasons why we are stopping work - what's the point in slogging your guts out just to accumulate more money if you aren't ever going to spend it? We don't have kids and I'm afraid that my relations can blooming well go and earn money if they want it - they are of course catered for in our wills but not massively so, various charities will do very nicely our of us! Digressing a bit - I've just been watching a 'Location, Location, Location' programme we recorded. It was about an elderly couple (79 years young if I remember rightly), who had decided that their current home (5 bed detached) was too big for them and they wanted a bit smaller home and a holiday 'flat' on the Dorset coast too. After much ado, they were actually going to buy 2 flats on the coast, one to use and the other as an investment ... why? They had enough in savings to buy the flats outright and once they sold their main home they would have been laughing, so I couldn't see why, at their age, they would want the aggro of becoming landlords, it was just the temptation of an investment opportunity that they didn't actually need. Fortunately they saw sense and didn't pursue this option and instead bought a second home 3 minutes away from their main home, and their main home is now on the market. Sometimes a 'good deal' is tempting but you've got to ask yourself ... do I really need the aggravation when I don't really need the money???? We intend to enjoy ourselves when we both leave work, we'll have enough to be happy, not rich, not even well off - we won't be going on a spending spree 'cause its gonna have to last us - but enough to be fairly comfortable, and that'll do me just fine. :-S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted December 8, 2009 Share Posted December 8, 2009 Syd - 2009-12-08 10:21 PM If a house is owned by TWO people and the state wanted it to pay for the care bill who would like to purchase HALF of a house with maybe a sitting tennant Don,t think you have any option Sid and the remaining tennant either comes up with half the value of the house, or the house is sold to pay for care regardless. Local authorities decide whether you pay or qualify for free care, and medical opinion takes a back seat simply to ease funding. I,ll go with Margaret when she suggests that children should either be prepared to look after their parents (medical condition permitting) or accept that any inheritance expected should pay for care instead, and the rise in care homes is all now down to the convenience of having somewhere to put the older generation to save any compromise on the younger one's lifestyle. Can't have it both ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 howie - 2009-12-08 11:22 PM Syd - 2009-12-08 10:21 PM If a house is owned by TWO people and the state wanted it to pay for the care bill who would like to purchase HALF of a house with maybe a sitting tennant Don,t think you have any option Sid and the remaining tennant either comes up with half the value of the house, or the house is sold to pay for care regardless. Not quite right, Howie - in this part of the world, anyway. When my Dad had to go into a home, the local authority took all of his pensions except for about £110 per week,which they generously allowed my mother to live on. The amount was just over the amount at which benefits for my Mum would have kicked in. She had to sell the family home purely because she couldn't afford it's upkeep, give the government Dad's half and buy a small house to live in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Howie When in Spain recently I saw stuffed toys of your cat on sale, exactlly the same face, meant to get you one but kept forgetting. Going back to the same place in a month, will have a look see and do my best this time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
W3526602 Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Hi, Wait till a social worker tells you you have to pay for your care home ..... then shoot him (I am joking). Then hope that the care you get in a prison hospital is up to scratch. 602 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 There is one difference between those who get government paid for care and those who have to foot the bill themselves. Those who pay for it can please themselves where they stay but anyone having their care paid by the government may have to go wherever they are willing to pay for. If it meant that I'd get to live in a care home where I wanted to be (ie a very nice one), I would happily pay, then when the money ran out the government would have to foot the bill and it would be more difficult for them to insist you moved to where they want you by that stage. I'm not saying this is right, but it really depends on what sort of place you want to be stuck in, having seen some of the government funded ones, there's no way I'd go there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted December 9, 2009 Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 Ah , Once again I talked in Michele speak ... Ok I hope this dont come across as funny if it does ,well pity for your hump. His parents obviously will leave money to him and our children . I ask about the care home because as the disabled children get older we have been given the option to put them into a should we say higher education . I have been looking at some now whilst R is only 16 eventually the day will come when she will move on to a residential college for special needs adults . She can attend her now school until she is 19and then has to move on as a natural progression in life . I have not been so clever as to actually find out what happens say at 25 ? but obviously I hope she will still attend something so she can use her skills and her brain rather than just be left to vegitate . The reason I tell you this is it is a worry as to what will happen to the children as we grow older . Our own kids are abled to do as they see fit thank god but R & F are not I was a bit dubious but now I have calmed down I see it as a positive thing because we cant live for ever and we would want to see R especially making realtionships and attachments with others and being settled before we pop our cloggs .just moving on with her natural life . Now its alot to think about and when i mentioned it to his mother she said perhaps she had better look at her will again and what she meant by this was she has no intention of leaving any to R & F (fair enough she didnt adopt them we did. Now we only have our house and obviously hope to live long and prosper so what i was asking really is people may know or not know the answer but do we die and leav it to our kids ? do we die and leave to all including R & F when surely they will end up in a home ..I take on board what ria said however I am thinking a home will already get there DLA and anything that they get and will be funded at tax payers expense BUT I dont feel in the slightest guilty about that as if we had left them in the care system they would still be costing the tax payer money . I especially dont feel guilty with all whats wrong with the world either need I say more the world isnt a fair place . So if we die the state will look after the girls but it certainly wont look after my birth kids will it . or do we do a will leaving it four ways and let the stae take the girls bit . still probably end up in a s**te hole either way ..I guess Syd will understand what I am trying to say allbe it I am making a right a**e of it all..but everything I got I had to fight for for the girls its not been made an easy ride and wether we pay or not for their care they wilkl get the same care some s**te hole in some godfor saken place .. Its not that I dont want to treat them the same I am just trying to make sense of it in my head what is the best to do . Oh and Mel ,just to say I watched a programme last night that really made me cry about altzeimers ..a woman a manager of a private care home perhaps the owner I would of punched her evil wicked lights out with great pleasure she was only in it for the money . Her staff couldnt even have a cuppa and she moaned about a loaf of bread wicked bitch i would of loved to wack her hard around the head ..anyway that was private I would rather a gov one than a private one at least the staff have standards they have to adherd to and hopefully whistle blowers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 If you place the ownership of your home as 'joint tenants in common' rather than joint ownership nobody can touch it. This website tells you a bit more about what can and can't be done. http://www.tenminutewill.co.uk/home_page.cgi?page=4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Hi Michele I see what you're getting at. What about some sort of trust for R and F? One of your other kids could administer it - you shouldn't put a lot of dosh in as you wouldn't want it to affect any benefits etc they get, but it would at least mean that if there was some of their own money available to them, then treats etc as well as some day to day living stuff could be paid for if they wanted it without having to wait for whoever is paying the other bills, to give permission. I'm thinking of any bits and pieces of leisure etc equipment, or activities, which wouldn't be covered by any government funding. There's no point in leaving them more than is sensible as, as you say, the govenment will just get their hands on it so it will not directly benefit them anyway. You really need to take some professional advice about this, there are lots of solicitors who do wills at special rates - ask at the citizens advice bureau as they're bound to know of some. One thing I wouldn't do, though, is just 'leave it' because it's a difficult thing to decide on - you just don't know what's around the corner and once you've got it sorted you can breath a sigh of relief that you have it done and then would probably only need to tweat it in years to come as your circumstances change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted December 9, 2009 Share Posted December 9, 2009 Here is a bit of moral blackmail. For the child who needs 24 hr care find a good carer, when the time comes, then in your will leave the house to the carer on the provisio of "Good Care" being delivered as judged by say a family members. Then your child gets the care needed in the home that they are used to, you can get direct payments for care to a considerable sum, all you have to do is to make sure that the running costs of the house and carers (I suspect you will need at least three) will fall within the direct payment scheme. Solar panels and hot water panels etc etc will all help in reducing the running costs, seeing a sensible return for this expenditure is not the point the return will come from your peace of mind For the child who is not disabled leave them your money etc etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted December 9, 2009 Author Share Posted December 9, 2009 Umh really gonna have to think about this one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggyd Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Michelle, both my inlaws had to be taken into a care home ten years ago! we all, thats O.H.s brother and sisters (well some of them) tried to look after them in their home it was an x coucil house that their youngest unmarried son who was living with them had bought when they were given the chance to buy. He didnt look after them in fact he was just an extra for us to look after! F.I.L had a stroke he was a big man and we all struggled! but we brought their bed downstairs and had a chemical toilet, we struggled running back and forwards doing shift untill M.I.L broke her leg and they were at risk as she when on her own was attempting to lift him!! We were told we could look for a suitable home for them and the Social Services were very helpfull in assessing if they were eligable for the full care. As it happens the Coucil covered all of the costs!their pension is taken by the home and they were allowed a certain amount for pocket money, F.I.L. died 4 years ago but M.I.L is still there at the ripe old age of 95, she gets excellent care and the home is lovely, they have just recently redecorated with new carpets curtains etc; and she was one of the first residents when it was opened ten years ago. If you Children need care Im sure they will be taken care of, you shouldnt need to be worrying and Im sure your own children will be able to talk to Social Services when the time comes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colin Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 When we built the new bungalow we knew first 'resident' would be gf's mother, it was built fully part M complient, wide doorways ,sockets at 1m high, good access to large bathroom and easy wheel chair access to car parking. Made all the difference, we gave her 18months of living in a good home with at least one daughter or son in attendance 24/7, we had several run ins with doctors and a big ruckass at a local carehome where she was temporary placed, she passed away peacefully last month surrounded by her loving family in a home she was proud to live in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Michelle When you are clearer in your mind about what would be your prefered plan for your children than approach your local service providers and talk it over with them. You may well find that they will be quiet helpful because as I have no doubt that like my son, because we do not use their services prefering to provide for him ourselves, they will have dropped from the service providers radar. The service providers would prefer to know what you are planning so that they will not be caught unawares with a "suprise client" that they didn't know anything about , later on. This is a tricky subject to deal with on your own so seek advice at every important step from other than the service providers and move slowly and carefully Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul- Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Someone we know of sold their house & bought a "big"!!! motorhome to live in permanently, they used a local site (to them) & carried on working until they retired. Their remanding money had been left to kids to help them get their own homes, when they retired they toured a lot for many years until the Mrs fell & damaged her hip. Their Doctor put their name forward for an old folk bungalow as she had great difficulty in getting in & out of their Motorhome. Since getting the bungalow they've sold the motorhome & now have a caravan, if they want anything the kids help them out. We are seriously considering this option when we get nearer retirement ;-) Paul Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 But what do you do if you haven't got any kids ..... :-S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggyd Posted December 13, 2009 Share Posted December 13, 2009 Mel B - 2009-12-13 8:38 PM But what do you do if you haven't got any kids ..... :-S Dont worry about spending your money ;-) and sell part of your house off to release equity, in other words enjoy yourselves while you can just make sure you have arranged and paid for your last trip :-D then enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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