Way2Go Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One! You don't even have to like 'emWe were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year’s Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.' A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away.'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard! She better not sh1t in the vegetable garden again!' The silence in the cab was deafening!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted April 11, 2011 Share Posted April 11, 2011 Priceless! :-> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maryowlgirl Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 ha ha, nice morning laugh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueeyes Posted April 12, 2011 Share Posted April 12, 2011 nearly fell off my chair good start to my morning. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syd Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 -----A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I challenged him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.... I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!! I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over. A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said. “A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.” My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! B******s to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web. Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy. I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself ‘that guy’s heading for a breakdown’. On holiday in Spain I saw a sign that said ‘English speaking Doctor’ - I thought, 'What a good idea, why don’t we have them in our country?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maryowlgirl Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 ooo nice made me smile, thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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