Samaritan's Call Centre

[AliB]

A man falls out with his wife and decides to drown his sorrows at the local pub. Feeling no better at closing time he walks to the railway station and decides to end it all so walks along the railway line. The next train is sure to put him out of his misery.

After 10 minutes he is still walking along the line and no train has come. Doubt enters his mind so he decides to phone the Samaritans.

He gets through to their call centre.

“Thank you for calling the Samaritans. To ensure we put you through to the correct department please list carefully to the following options.

For Family problems please press 1

For Alcohol problems please press 2

For Suicides please press 3”

 

He eagerly presses 3

 

“Thank you for contacting the Samaritans Suicide Help. All out operators are currently busy. We will answer your call as soon as possible. In the meantime please stay on the line.”

 

[donna miller]

There are two facts nobody on here knows about my Husband.

 

1. His willy is exactly the same length as 2 Argos pencils placed end to end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. He is now banned from every Argos store in the UK.