flicka Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 I have a little Satnav, I've had it all my life It's better than the normal ones, my Satnav is my wife. It gives me full instructions, especially how to drive "It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five". It tells me when to stop and start, and when to use the brake And tells me that it's never ever, safe to overtake. It tells me when a light is red, and when it goes to green It seems to know instinctively, just when to intervene. It lists the vehicles just in front, and all those to the rear And taking this into account, it specifies my gear. I'm sure no other driver, has such a helpful device For when we leave and lock the car, it still gives its advice. It fills me up with counselling, each journey's pretty fraught So why don't I exchange it, and get a quieter sort? Ah well, you see, it cleans the house, makes sure I'm properly fed It washes all my shirts and things, and keeps me warm in bed! Despite all these advantages, and my tendency to scoff, I only wish that now and then, I could turn the bu**er off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeithR Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 i'm impressed!!!! if you find the off button, let me know immediately!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brock Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Brilliant. Puts a real value on your wife. Let's see, how much for a Comfort-matic, cruise control, air conditioning for when she decides to freeze hell over, an actual satnav? That must be close on £2ks worth meaning your missus is worth at least that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laimeduck Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Are you still with us Flicka? Risky or what! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flicka Posted April 5, 2014 Author Share Posted April 5, 2014 Oh she knows me too well Jeremy >:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Dwight Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Oh so true Flicka, I have one of those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
auntyjanet1 Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Flicka, Many thanks for sat nav,my wife and I were in tears reading it :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zydeco Joe Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 Hi Flicka like in the past I have enjoyed reading your informed reports on many subjects and am so sorry that this fantastic and true report could be your last (that is if she who must be obeyed reads this one))) LOL :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigal Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 Fabulous poem, I like it!!! :-D Hope you don't mind if I borrow it Flicka!!!!!! ;-) B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Uzzell Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 I don't think you need worry about getting flicka's permission, as the 'little satnav' ditty has been doing the rounds for quite a while. It's sometimes suggested that the original author was Pam Ayres (and it has the flavour of her poetry), but this June 2012 facebook entry claims that it was penned by Jack Newman (a minor poet who lives in Australia) https://www.facebook.com/JoSkehanAuthor/posts/396647047053495 The earliest on-line version turns up in May 2012. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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