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They walk among us!


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> They Walk Among Us

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> I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The cashier rang up $46.64 charges. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor.

> She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back, same scenario!

> I departed the store with the $46.64.

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> They Walk Among Us

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> I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get- one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free'. 'They're already buy-one- get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.

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> They Walk Among Us!

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> One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where?'

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> They Walk Among Us!

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> While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?. When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.'

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> They Walk Among Us!!

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> I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, 'The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.' He responded, 'Is that Eastern or Pacific time?' Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, 'Uh, Pacific.'

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> They Walk Among Us!

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> My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

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> They Walk Among Us!

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> My friends and I went out to buy beer and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

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> They Walk Among Us!

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> I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?'

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> They Walk Among Us!

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> While working at a pizza place I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'

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> Yep, They Walk Among Us!

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> They Walk Among Us, and even more worryingly,

 

they reproduce

>

>

 

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At the bar just last night.

 

Punter, 3 x 1/3 rd of a b & c please (it's a beer festival)

 

Barman, ok

 

Punter, 3 thirds again please

 

Barman, sorry I don't understand,

 

Me, after 3 exchanges, THE SAME AGAIN, GRRRR.

 

Lottery terminal Asda almost every week same staff member.

 

Me, 3 lucky dips please and 1 separate.

 

Staff, so that's 3 lucky dips then?

 

Me, no that's 4.

 

And so it goes....

 

Martyn (switched to lotto direct debit) :D

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Me taking a client who is blind to Nationwide Building Society (at the time the one we recommended for Cash ISA's) - to set up a cash ISA (they asked me to accompany them as they had had difficulty before in getting through the anti money laundering documentation.

 

Cashier - "Can I see some photo I D - driving licence or passport for personal identification please?"

 

Client - "I am blind - I have no Driving Licence or Passport."

 

Cashier - "Oh! - well do you have any utility bills in your name so we can confirm your address?"

 

Client - "No bills are sent to me personally as I cannot se them."

 

Cashier is now struck dumb by the situation.

 

Me - I say "Look there is a procedure for registered blind people can you please follow that?"

 

Cashier - "But without a Passport or Photo Driving Licence we cannot proceed!"

 

Me - "Look - he is blind!! - he has as much chance of getting a shotgun licence as getting a Driving Licence!".

 

Cashier - "Can you let me have his Shotgun Licence then - we can use that..........."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(We did it in the end - but with the manager and a form signed by me stating that we were happy to confirm his identity)

 

 

 

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Many years ago, on a course for beginners, aboard a lovely old sailing cruiser, we had just finished lunch anchored up in the Hamble, and the instructor was tidying up in the saloon. He handed the half full teapot to a girl seated in the cockpit with the request " can you heave that lot over the side please?". She did so, and we had to drink instant coffee for the rest of the week.

AGD

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1 hour ago in the bank.

 

Bloke, when's good Friday. ?

 

Customer service, this coming Friday

 

Bloke, are you open. ?

 

cs. No

 

bloke, Saturday?

 

Cs, yes open

 

bloke, what about Monday?

 

Cs, closed sir.

 

bloke, let me get this right, shut fri and mon open sat?

 

cs, correct sir.

 

Bloke, do you have any paperwork on this matter?

 

CS, no sir.

 

bloke, what about Tuesday then.?

 

cs, open as usual sir.

 

bloke walked out.

 

How the customer services guy kept his face straight I'll never know.

 

Martyn

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CliveH - 2014-04-14 5:37 AM

 

spospe - 2014-04-13 9:34 PM

 

People who read Chatterbox ...........

 

and

 

People who write to Chatterbox

 

They really do walk amongst us !!!!!

 

It would seem that you do................ 8-)

 

 

And so do you .......... :D

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I remember an engineer friend telling me of a garage door mechanic telling him that he needed a more powerful motor on his power garage door because 1/2 hp was obviously not enough and so he recommended a 1/4 hp model.

 

My friend queried this and was told on a knowledgable way that "4 was bigger than 2".

 

Even after explaining fractions to the mechanic, he was having none of it. 8-)

 

 

 

 

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spospe - 2014-04-14 4:14 PM

 

CliveH - 2014-04-14 5:37 AM

 

spospe - 2014-04-13 9:34 PM

 

People who read Chatterbox ...........

 

and

 

People who write to Chatterbox

 

They really do walk amongst us !!!!!

 

It would seem that you do................ 8-)

 

 

And so do you .......... :D

 

Can not deny the truth of that! (lol) (lol) (lol)

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've got one of 'those' living with me! 8-)

 

Hubby tonight "Mel, my phone's playing up can you ring it"

 

Me: "Which one"

 

Him: "My spare one"

 

Me: "Okay"

 

His phone rings ... all working fine.

 

Him: "I haven't got a signal on my other (usual) phone ... have you?"

 

Me: "Eh? ... I've just RUNG YOU!!!!!" *-) :$

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