carolh Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside. The pump attendant obviously knows nothing about golf, greeting him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of the identity of the golfing pro. "Top of the mornin' to yer, sir," says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees," replies Tiger. "Well, what on the good earth are they for?" inquires the Irishman. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving," says Tiger. "Jaysus," says the Irishman, "BMW tinks of everything!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzy Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 :-D :$ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 nice one carol (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forester Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 God appears to a man & says he'll have to quit fags, drinks & sex if he wants to go to heaven. A week later God appears & asks him hows it going. Man say the fags & drink were easy to give up but when my wife bent over to take meat out of the freezer i had to give her one there & then. God says they dont like that sort of thing in heaven,man replys they dont like it in Tesco either........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Beginning to understand why the seats on your van are all out of shape Wayne. Whatever you,r taking, send me some. My sister was telling me that when she recently visited her father in law in hospital, she noticed some of those blue pills by his bedside. She went to the nurse and demanded to know why a old man of 87 needed such things. Apparently they were used to stop him rolling out of bed. Did try them once, but they were so big that all I got was a stiff neck. Howard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Howard, bet you take em to make you look hard? ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzy Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breathe through that thing?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
net-traveller Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hang on to your nuts, this is a blow job. I always could lower the tone of the place. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarcyDog Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 How do you tell a blind man on a nudist bearch? It's not hard.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 What do you call a Russian prostitute ? Knickersoffalot (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted October 4, 2006 Share Posted October 4, 2006 What do you call a Russian with three ball's? Whojanickabollockoff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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