W3526602 Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 Hi Syd, If somebody addressed me by my surname, I would tend to be offended, unless I was in a situation where that was the norm....military or publuic school, for instance. But politicians seem to be able to write to each other either way....Dear John, or Dear Smith. Then you get the "old school" wife who addresses he husband as Mr.... Or the eldery ladies who have been friends all there lives,and address each other as Mrs..... Respect is what I feel, or what I show, not what I say. But I respect Mike P for his attitude towards his "customers", I wish more coppers had the same attitude. I suspect they are trained to be "superior" nowadays. I have even found SOME nurses to be less than polite. 602 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Git Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 W3526602 - 2007-08-22 8:53 AM Hi Syd, If somebody addressed me by my surname, I would tend to be offended, unless I was in a situation where that was the norm....military or publuic school, for instance. But politicians seem to be able to write to each other either way....Dear John, or Dear Smith. Then you get the "old school" wife who addresses he husband as Mr.... Or the eldery ladies who have been friends all there lives,and address each other as Mrs..... Respect is what I feel, or what I show, not what I say. But I respect Mike P for his attitude towards his "customers", I wish more coppers had the same attitude. I suspect they are trained to be "superior" nowadays. I have even found SOME nurses to be less than polite. 602 I entirely agree John, and really like your phrase, "Respect is what I feel, or what I show, not what I say." But to go back to Syd's shrewd observation:-"Who takes precedence in deciding if a remark is derogatory or not, the person making the remark or the person receiving the remark?", it is so easy for both of them to get it wrong. (Don't anybody dare to skip-read the next bit and start jumping to the wrong conclusion!) For example, I've no doubt Mike Parke had the best of motives in calling his customers "My Friend" or "Old Chap", and would hope that if I was the recipient I would be mature enough not to react. Either one would annoy me however, as I am not his friend and therefore would not want to be addressed as such (especially if he was feeling my collar at the time!!) Again "Old Chap" always irritates me when used by a stranger and always makes me feel patronised. I freely accept however, that in both cases this is just my own personal feeling and I am at least 50% to blame for any misunderstanding or ill feeling. I wish I was as certain that I would be able to keep my mouth shut - especially in a somewhat heated situation. This is clearly a case where both are right, and both are wrong. What's the answer - a bit more tolerance and understanding I guess, and don't take life or yourself too seriously. Easily said!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Syd Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 The point that I was hoping someone would pick up on is There is absolutely no way that anyone can hope to make inoffensive remarks all of the time because you will always come across the PC idiot who spends their entire life simply looking for people to make remarks that they can then deliberately claim is offensive to them. What is unclear though is if the remark is made with no offence meant in any way, quiet innocently, and some PC idiot siezes the chance to be offended should the person who made the remark then be forced to say a grovelling "sorry" And if not how do we know that the remark was made quiet innocently in the first instance and the person that we are calling a PC idiot is actually a PC idiot and not genuinely offended How do we get round that problem, stop talking altogether ?? For instance W3526602, we differ on the use of surnames, calling me by my surname wouldn't offend me it would simply make me think that that person was a bit short on manners and unless I knew that person somwhat I would make a mental note to avoid voluntary contact with that person. Is it offensive to call Mr Smith "Smithy" if you know him, No I don't think so but who would call Mr Smith "Smithy" if they didn't know him. No one surely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Git Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 This discussion gets more interesting by the minute. Unfortunately I have to go an annoy the Mother-in-Law now. The old bat (whoops - there we go again!!) wants a shed moved several yards to the left and muggins was daft enough to volunteer. Until later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 No such think as voluntary volunteering! She suggested, you took the bait and were caught hook, line and sinker! (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Syd Posted August 22, 2007 Share Posted August 22, 2007 And if I didn't want to offend you I would say in a very inofensive way "MUG" with absolutely no malice intended Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Interesting thread, but when all is said and done each of us knows exactly when an of the cuff comment is intended to offend or not, and this applies to those on the recieving end as well. A slight inflection, body language or simple facial expressions always give the game away. The only exception would be when we pass an innocent comment that causes unintended hurt or embarrassment , or "putting your foot in it" as its known. The same applies when addressing strangers or foreigners, and again its not what you say but how you say it. I don,t think Mike is being overly pompous, and I think its more a case that manners have slipped so low that his views might come over as strange or old fashioned, but at least he,s making his point. As for the written word, then I agree with previous comments, that the inclusion of a simple emoticon takes all the sting out of our remarks and should always be used where appropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest caraprof Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 I'm not sure about emoticons. I'd like to see a few apostrophes. :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howie Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Getting there slowly Frank. I would not have taken offence anyway, but that smiling emoticon still makes a big difference. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Frank will catastrophy do :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest caraprof Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 michele - 2007-08-23 4:24 PM Frank will catastrophy do :D Catastrophe would be even better! :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Well you will wait along time with me then wont you . See I told ya catastrophy and thats my best spelling for the day :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davenewellhome Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 I do my best to put the appropriate apostrophes in my drivelbut I find a smilie emoticon does help now and then. :-) D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Parke Posted August 24, 2007 Author Share Posted August 24, 2007 Will someone, and I am sure that you will, please tell me in simple terms, how to insert an 'emoticon'? Thank you, Mike. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Mike when you press the reply button just as you decide to reply or write anything on your left you should be seeing 23 smileys and different emoticons its as simple as that just click on the one you want it inserts it for you try it. :D :D :-| (?) :-> 8o| (lol) :-( :'( 8-) >:-( (!) B-) :-S :-D (>) >:-) ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Parke Posted August 25, 2007 Author Share Posted August 25, 2007 :-D Thank you, Michelle! :-D :-D I think I've got the hang of it (!) Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forester Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 michele - 2007-08-24 6:19 PM Mike when you press the reply button just as you decide to reply or write anything on your left you should be seeing 23 smileys and different emoticons its as simple as that just click on the one you want it inserts it for you try it. :D :D :-| (?) :-> 8o| (lol) :-( :'( 8-) >:-( (!) B-) :-S :-D (>) >:-) ;-QUOTE] I think they must have packed up and gone for they are not on my bloody box!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 You've got to enable them Chopper!!!! Tick the little box, 3rd down the list, below your posting bit entitled "Enable emoticons" and you'll be able to pull all sorts of faces ... *-) >:-( B-) :-S (>) :'( (?) :-| :D :$ >:-) ;-) :-( >:-) >:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted August 28, 2007 Share Posted August 28, 2007 davenewell@home - 2007-08-21 9:42 PM Once upon a time I did a contract in Drebyshire and it were right funny when a local said to my mate "ay up me duck, 'ow yer doing?" My mate smacked him in the mouth for being so familiar 'cos where we come from "me duck" is usually used towards women! >:-) :-> :D D.O/K Dave, so why did he smack him one then. Bit precious was he?. You really ought to get about more. Me old duck is a very widely used coloquiolism, especially up north. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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