Sparkle Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 michele - 2007-11-14 9:28 AM sparkel I'm not old enough yet I'm only 40 ish :D Plenty of time to find a 5 star one you fancy then! B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 J9withdogs - 2007-11-14 9:43 PM I think it is now £21,000 savings before benefits kick in. Then there are 'top-ups' where a third party have to pay the difference over and above the state minimum contribution. It's a nightmare. Then when Dad says' I haven't got to spend the rest of my life here, do I?' it breaks your heart. Correct - gold star for Jan..... Mums just been allowed to be paid for by the wonderful government....with I think a contribution from Dad..... So sorry about your Dad Jan, at least my Mum doesn't have a scoobies what is going on. Breaks my heart to see her there, no matter how good it is. :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest peter Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 J9withdogs - 2007-11-14 8:43 PM I think it is now £21,000 savings before benefits kick in. Then there are 'top-ups' where a third party have to pay the difference over and above the state minimum contribution. It's a nightmare. Then when Dad says' I haven't got to spend the rest of my life here, do I?' it breaks your heart.Well does he?. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 We found a lovely place for my hubby's Mum at very short notice due to her being diagnosed with cancer and not being able to cope at home with her diabetes, meals etc. We thought she'd have a few months there being molly-coddled as the staff were lovely - on her visit to see the place one of the young staff was on her way out to go home at 7.00 pm, but she made a point of coming over to Mum in Law as she sat in the car and gave her a big hug and kiss and had a lovely chat to her, really made her feel very welcome, just before she left to catch her bus home she said "I hope you come to stay here with us, and that you're one of my ladies ... you're lovely". It was the best reception we could've hoped for. She moved in a few days later on the Sunday tea-time but unfortunately only got to spend one night there before she went into hospital and passed away 4 days later. But she did get to fulfil her main wish in the short time she was there, to have a wonderful bath and be pampered by them. We only wish she could've spent a bit longer there as they really would've made her feel special and loved. I just hope that if the time comes when I need to be somewhere like that, that it's as nice. :-S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted November 14, 2007 Share Posted November 14, 2007 Mel - it sounds like she enjoyed her time there..... I know what you mean about the welcome as well - I saw how the staff interact with Mum and she is so popular as she always has a smile. Theres always stuff going on around her to keep her occupied and they actually make an effort with them, making scrapbooks for family photos for them to keep in their rooms. We've also been allowed to decprate her room as we want and have any furniture in it that we like... so for her birthday my dad ordered a 2 seater sofa, now nicknamed 'Jays Cuddle Couch'... as they always used to sit next to each other at home, and with those stiff upright chairs it just ain't the same. When Dad had his stroke and was taken into see mum it was touching to see how shocked the staff were at his appearence because he had lost weight and looked awful, - they do care, and everyone becomes an extended family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzy Posted November 16, 2007 Share Posted November 16, 2007 ..... "Then he will be in the same nursing home with the state paying the bill " ......... NOT necessarily!!! Make sure this is an absolute ASAP ...... I've known 2 people who were moved out of care homes because they could no longer 'fit the bill' - one was moved on in a hurry; the other home put up the price of that room so that even Social Services would not cover the bills. One resident was in her late 70s, the other a ripe old 82! Confused, upset and saddened the 82 year old died 10 days later and the Coronor told the family it was due to the stress of moving. Make sure that you know the difference between the different classifications : so that the person can be given the best possible care: i.e. if the person is well at present make sure that full nursing care can be given at a later date otherwise the resident will be moved on ...... don't be fooled by 'staff' being in 'nurses' uniforms! I talked to a lady in pale blue - when I was in the NHS this was Staff Nurse grade - and it turned out she didn't even have a First Aid Certificate because she cleaned the floors ......... The 1st home Dad was in 2 years ago was very good, the staff were jolly and always waved when they passed his door, food was interesting and there was an 'air' of satisfaction. I could write a very sad book about his stay in Hospital following a fractured neck of Femur in March 1006 as well as the lack of consideration in the last 'care home', part of a consortuim with a grand entrance and smiley happy staff front of house: however, upstairs care for people lacked Big Time :'( Mum is only now telling me some of the horrors that went on: such as his dinner being out of reach for 2 hours before she arrived by which time it was cold. He couldn't cut his meat but no one thought to do so: apparently they had asked if he wanted it cut up and he had said 'no' so to do so would be abuse ......... surely it's abuse not to return to see wther the client has changed their mind and maybe would like help? :'( He was always clean and never smelly but went hours without seeing a soul once in his room ......... if Mum hadn't visited every day he would not have been given a drink in the afternoons, sometimes she had to collect it from the trolley down the corridor. Because he was the only one in bed down 'that end' they didn't think to bring Mum and Dad sustenance. He died on the 6th December, when we went to collect his belongings the next day the 'Sister' on the floor didn't even bother coming with us, it was "you can collect his things from the room" not even calling Dad by name. No "sorry", no compassion .......... I'm going to jump off a cliff rather than be in that situation. I can't joke about this topic, it's very raw because it's a service we don't think about until we are actually involved and what I saw amounts to abuse of the elderly. Mum had to sign a form to agree to move Dad should his stay become 'untenable' but no-one explained what that meant and she was too afraid to ask. She had 7 days to find him another place had the need arisen ....... he was 79 and she was 80! If she hadn't signed the form within 3 weeks of his being admitted he would have been moved again ............. at times Mum was frantic in case Dad did something 'wrong' that would mean another upheaval ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hymer C 9. Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 peter - 2007-11-14 9:04 PM I'd sooner top myself than go into one of these god forsaken places. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peter do you ever think of any one elses feelings before you post My mum had allzimers I looked after as I could for 3 years but when I could not manage she had to go into a home where I could not fault the care she had. Others posting also have had situations where there is no choice so glib statments really arn't any help . Carol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 Peter ... speaking on behalf of the people who would be in any home that you'd be put in ... they'd probably prefer it if you topped yourself as well!!! ;-) Must less aggro for them (lol) (lol) (lol) (lol) (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michele Posted November 18, 2007 Author Share Posted November 18, 2007 Guys this was suppsoed to be light hearted about my kids giving me lip :D lets not fall out over remarks . peter what you been up to upsetting the nice ladies? bend over let me get the slipper. ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 Nah Michele, he'll enjoy that, better make him do his penance by having to look after some of the lovely folk in his nearest retirement home! (lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Tracker Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 My Mum was in a lovely home in Perranporth for a few months before she died in 2004. After years of living alone since Dad died, Mum was glad to be amongst people again. There were activities most days for the inmates and most of the staff really cared and seemed to enjoy their work. Mum had a small but pleasant room (overlooking Perranporth beach) and we imported some of her own furniture and TV etc to make it more like home. Not all homes are horrid - but, then again, in our experience the majority were not very nice. It all depends on the owners / manager's attitudes and budget and being a registered charity helped Perran bay achieve good care at a fair price. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KD Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 how old are you michele out of interest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colin Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 K&D - 2007-11-18 7:25 PM how old are you michele out of interest Tut tut, you should know never to ask a lady that, oh I've just noticed it's michele your asking,thats ok then. Tin hat time methinks :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 my mum is in fairly early stages of alzheimers - given a choice [which you don't get here] she'd opt for a tablet / peaceful end now, but we don't have an option in the uk and - because of alz wouldn't have the option now anywhere else we have living wills & I'm off to switzerland at the first sign nothing to do with the quality [or otherwise] of nursing homes - so altough Peter's post was not well phrased - I'm in that queue B-) ps mel - don't suppose 'your' nursing home is in the east riding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 Hi Twooks Yes, it is Magnolia House in Cottingham. It is split into to areas, one in the original Victorian house where the residents just have their own bedrooms with communal washroom/bathroom etc facilities, which is mainly aimed at the mentally disabled and those who are on lower funds and cannot afford to supplement the charges. The other is for a bedroom with their own ensuite toilet for which a supplement on top of the standard funding was payable but the pension easily covered this. Residents are encouraged to take some of their own TV, furniture etc, as much as is reasonable to get in the room, to make it their 'home', they can put up pictures etc without worry. The rest of the facilities are really lovely, it has an absolutely beautiful garden with trees and paths for the residents to wander around, nice and private, and very well kept. If they want drinks etc they just have to say, at any time of day or night. We found out that a former colleague's mum was in the 'older' bit as she had quite extensive Alzheimers and it wasn't safe to let her have access to her own ensuite. She had been there for many years and he said she was treated as if she was a favourite granny by them all, nothing was too much trouble. When I was looking for a home for my Mum in Law I rang loads of places and sounded them out with various people including the Council, doctors surgery etc to see what their experienced had been with each of them. Magnolia House was always very well thought of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 thanks for that Mel owe you a pint sometime just gathering info at this stage, it may not become an issue, both are still ok and in sheltered housing in the north east B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J9withdogs Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 You can download reports on care?nursing homes at this site: http://www.csci.org.uk/ They can sometimes be a bit out of date and i have found that a change of manager can make a huge difference in the quality of care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 This site is quite good too... http://www.carehomesguide.com/home.aspx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 cheers, shall bookmark 'em - hopefully won't need them for a long time B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel B Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 Twooks ... knowing the right time to look for somewhere is difficult. I wish Mum in Law had been a bit more open with the difficulties she'd been having at home, rather than pretending everything was okay. If she had we could've got her in there much sooner so she would've had the chance to be looked after and had less worry for a lot longer and been able to enjoy the place, the company, the food etc. Unfortunately it all happend too soon. Hopefully you won't have to worry for a long time. :-D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twooks Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 thanks Mel, B-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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