Tracker Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 The Twelve Days of Christmas Turkey On the first day of Christmas my true love said to me: I`ve bought a big, fresh turkey and a proper Christmas tree. On the second day of Christmas much laughter could be heard as we tucked into our turkey- a most delicious bird. On the third day of Christmas came the people from next door. The turkey tasted just as good as it had done before. On the fourth day of Christmas came relations, young and old. We finished up the Christmas pud and had the turkey cold. On the fifth day of Christmas, outside the snowflakes scurried But we were nice warm inside – we had the turkey curried. On the sixth day of Christmas, the Christmas spirit died As the children fought and bickered – we had turkey rissoles fried. On the seventh day of Christmas my true love he did wince When he sat down at the table and was offered turkey mince. On the eighth day of Christmas the dog had run for shelter He`d seen our turkey pancakes and the glass of Alka Seltzer. On the ninth day of Christmas by lunchtime Dad was blotto He knew that bird was back again, this time as a risotto. On the tenth day of Christmas we were drinking home-made brew As if that wasn`t bad enough, we were eating turkey stew. On the eleventh day of Christmas the Christmas tree was moulting. With chilli, soy and oyster sauce the turkey was revolting. On the twelfth day of Christmas we had smiles upon our lips. The guests had gone, the turkey too – we dined on fish chips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arthur Brown Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 And a merry christmas to you I normally have the curry on the third day. You must have a bit of a large bird to stretch so many days to a curry, or is it just me because I like curries. cheers Arthur Brown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike B. Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Arthur Brown - 2015-12-18 8:56 PM And a merry christmas to you I normally have the curry on the third day. You must have a bit of a large bird to stretch so many days to a curry, or is it just me because I like curries. cheers Arthur Brown That's no way to talk about Mrs Tracker-Shame on you!! Merry Christmas All Mike & Jackie xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laimeduck Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Meze starter then Roast Beef & Yorkshire pudding for us. Can't be doing with these tasteless, humungous, great big far eastern birds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caddies104 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 laimeduck - 2015-12-18 11:26 PM Meze starter then Roast Beef & Yorkshire pudding for us. Can't be doing with these tasteless, humungous, great big far eastern birds! Sounds good, still like Turkey though MAD, that's where your face is familiar, Brother used to read it in the 60's... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derek pringle Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 hi, Nice one Tracker, I'm feeling full up already. Merry Xmas to One and All derek and lyn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laimeduck Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Caddies104 - 2015-12-19 8:00 AMlaimeduck - 2015-12-18 11:26 PMMeze starter then Roast Beef & Yorkshire pudding for us. Can't be doing with these tasteless, humungous, great big far eastern birds!Sounds good, still like Turkey thoughMAD, that's where your face is familiar, Brother used to read it in the 60's... Alfred E Newman...at your service Sir! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antony1969 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Happy Christmas Rich ... 220 odd views and 6 replies on a Happy Christmas thread ... sums up this miserable place for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowtelse2do Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Hi Rich. And the same to you and everyone else....him included ;-) I do have to make this a positive post though, so please take note of the following, due to having to be PC. :-( *These festive wishes are sent with no obligation, implied or implicit and carry no guarantee as to the outcome for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or your choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all... ...and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2016, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Britain great, (not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to your race, creed, colour, age, height, weight, physical ability, religious faith, sexual preferences, choice of computer platform or internet browser. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by me to actually implement any of the wishes for you or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at my sole discretion. These wishes are warranted to perform as can reasonably be expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and this warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish whenever I feel like it. Hope that's covered everything. Dave *-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracker Posted December 19, 2015 Author Share Posted December 19, 2015 Antony - there are no miserable places only miserable people - unless you seen Grimsby or Fleetwood! Dave - many thanks for sharing so much oval objectivity with us - t'would be even funnier if t'were not true!! And finally - Mrs Tracker is much less of a plump bird than she once was - apparently the stress of being married to me has made her lose more than just her sanity!! May the New Year bring you all everything you need if not quite everything you want! As Michele would probably have said - keep taking the pills - which reminds me to pass on the best possible medical advice which is freely and clearly stated on every medication - keep away from children! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggyd Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Happy Christmas Richard and All , and all the best for 2016 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Jones Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 laimeduck - 2015-12-19 9:08 AMAlfred E Newman...at your service Sir!"Neuman" surely, Jeremy?Happy Christmas everyone!(Just marking the new Star Wars launch by popping briefly back to The Dark Side!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candapack Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Yes, Merry Christmas to you Rich, and everyone else on here. And a big festive Thank You to everyone, I have gleaned so much knowledge from so many. You're all brilliant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geeco Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Dave, you forgot the clause about having to conduct a risk analysis! Christmas in this part of the world is all about the kids in the pool and seafood on the BBQ for lunch. Too hot for Yorkshire pud.The ride on this forum has been almost as much fun as my AT Tracker.2016 will I am sure be even better. Compliments of the season to one & all.Cheers, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laimeduck Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Tony Jones - 2015-12-19 9:09 PMlaimeduck - 2015-12-19 9:08 AM Alfred E Newman...at your service Sir!"Neuman" surely, Jeremy?Happy Christmas everyone!(Just marking the new Star Wars launch by popping briefly back to The Dark Side!) Tony absolutely right - That's the problem of getting old... I went for a double and should have had a single ... story of my drinking life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confused Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Hi all, it's been a while but read post's daily with much interest and anticipation for the new year. Just want to wish everyone a very happy Christmas Dave & Di Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keithl Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Hi Tracker, Luvved the 'Twelve days of Turkey' (!) Happy Christmas and a Very Merry New Year to all on the forum and long may your plug dangle :D Keith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archiesgrandad Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Hi, can I add my seasonal greetings to you all, we were told that the French don't do much for Christmas but they're nearly as bad as us Brits, so I'll raise a glass to us all! AGD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracker Posted December 20, 2015 Author Share Posted December 20, 2015 Warm thanks from Mrs T, and me For christmas wishes sent from thee To one and all at this kind time May all your future poems rhyme The turkey's stuffed, and so are we And that's before we even see What Santa brings us, old and young Perhaps we should have sent a 'bung'? But I don't need no presents, me I have my world with Mrs T Health and pensions will do just fine So we still have a right good time. Now I am known for many crimes The worst of which is awful rhymes So don't just sit there feeling terse Why not post one - even worse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nowtelse2do Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 You'll never get a worse one than that 8-) All the best Rich to you and Mrs T. Wait a mo!! isn't that Will's Mrs ;-) Dave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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